Spot the difference

Malcolm occupies Redfellow Hovel in the company of two females with strong aversions. Spiders and pigeons have featured into recent weeks.

So, why will the Lady in his Life scream at a spider, but allow a ladybird to crawl all over her? Why persecute the moth but marvel at a butterfly? Malcolm keeps very quiet about the friendly mouse under his patio, knowing the repercussions likely to ensue. Meanwhile the thieving, ungrateful robin is fed on nuts and titbits all winter long. The squirrels are only tree rats with a good PR agent. And those urban foxes make a heck of a mess and are noisy at it.

For some reason, all the whitefly, greenfly and blackfly that have been the bane of Malcolm's life these many years have gone AWOL this year: as, of course, have the ladybirds.

Now he knows where they have all gone: to Somerset --



And for the next mystery, why did John Lennon reckon there were 4,000 holes in Blackburn, Lancashire? Any way, how many holes can fit in a hole, even one as big as Blackburn?

At which the voice of Malcolm's Dear Old Dad resonates spookily from another dimension:

If a man and a half can dig a hole and a half in a day and a half ...

Sphere: Related Content