The block's wee wood chip

The Ulster sense-of-humour gets to Malcolm (when, eventually, he deciphers it). For example, the son of "Mad Dog" must be "Mad Pup". And there's the one about the bomb in the pet-shop: "You're not giving the tortoise much of a chance". Or the bucket of manure: "We're decorating the wee fella's room: he get's out o' the Kesh next week." Sorry, you've heard them all.

Therefore Malcolm was delighted to see Ian Paisley, Junior, maintaining a long tradition. It must be traumatic to one's self-esteem forever to be son of the "Big Mon", meaning one is doomed to be the "ween". Or, worse still, "Baby Doc". Tough.

So, let us turn to the BBC website:

Mr Paisley is quoted as saying: "I am pretty repulsed by gay and lesbianism. I think it is wrong.

"I think that those people harm themselves and - without caring about it - harm society.

"That doesn't mean to say that I hate them. I mean, I hate what they do."

The proverbial ton of bricks duly arrive, generously lobbed by Sinn Féin ("dangerous homophobia") and SDLP ("extreme personal views") alike.

Junior is a "junior minister" in his father's Office of the First and Deputy First Minister (notice the neat symmetry there). A main function of the Office is promoting equality. This includes a legacy from Direct Rule, delivering the Single Equality Bill:

The legislation aims to harmonise existing anti-discrimination and equality legislation as far as is practicable and will update and extend existing provisions where appropriate.

It's the way you tell them, indeed.

Malcolm wonders whether and, if so, why this outbreak of foot-in-mouth disease was greeted wholly chortle-free in the Peter Robinson and Jeffrey Donaldson households.

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