Thursday, November 1, 2007

Lower than lawyers?

Malcolm reckons everyone knows that scientists are switching from rats to lawyers for their experiments. The reasons for the change are:
  • Lab technicians develop emotional attachments to their rats. This interferes with the research.
  • Lawyers breed faster.
  • The RSPCA is not concerned about maltreated lawyers, and there are no problems from the anti-vivisectionists.
  • (All together now:) There are some things even a rat won't do.
The only remaining problem is extrapolating results to human beings.

But now Malcolm is amazed to find lawyers do not reign unchallenged in the pits of animate life.

Today's Baltimore Sun carries a report by Baltimore federal jury awarded nearly $11 million to the father of a Marine killed in Iraq. This was on the grounds that the family's privacy had been invaded by a group waving anti-gay signs at the funeral:
Westboro Baptist Church, a fundamentalist Christian group based in Topeka ... has protested military funerals across the country with placards bearing shock-value messages such as "Thank God for dead soldiers." They contend that the deaths are punishment for America's tolerance of homosexuality and of gays in the military.
It seems that the Westboro Baptists are largely a Mr Phelps (pictured left) and his extended family.

Mr Phelps and his Christian cohort blame disasters, including Hurricane Katrina, the Sept. 11 attacks and AIDS, on permissive morals which go against biblical teaching.

Not to worry, though, the lawyers are on the case.

They are fighting back, for truth, freedom and justice for the Phelps family, and also to restore the proper social order in the abyss of pond-life slime:
Fred W. Phelps Sr., Westboro's founder, vowed to appeal ... "It's going to be reversed in five minutes," he said. This case, he added, "will elevate me to something important" ...
After the verdict, Phelps and his two daughters named in Snyder's lawsuit said they believed that it was really their religious beliefs that were on trial.

"The goofy jury threw a fit at God," Phelps said.
Isn't it nice to know when one is so clearly righteous and in the right? Sphere: Related Content

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