Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Amos Kito

Somehow, somewhen Malcolm found he had signed up for Questia, and regular (and usually instantly deleted) newsletters drop into his in-box.

Today, though, rather than do an instant delete, his attention was caught by the Questia Quiz:
Sitting outdoors is a lovely way to spend a summer evening, until you hear the annoying whine of a mosquito buzzing in your ear. Mosquitoes beat their wings 300-600 times per second to generate that buzz. Which of the following statements about mosquitoes is also TRUE?

This is obviously one of those occasions when the question is far more intriguing than any solution: which is why Malcolm did not search for the answers (but guesses it is B, simply on the perverse grounds of appearing the least likely).

Anne Udder Moss Kito

Only a couple of days ago
, we were being regaled by the news that an aerial armada of mosquitos was being fought off, over the vasty fields of France:

French helicopters spray mosquitos threatening to swamp Britain

Helicopters are being deployed to spray poison in the skies above northern France to wipe out swarms of mosquitos that are threatening to cross the Channel into Britain.

French officials launched the commando operation after insect experts warned that as many as six billion mosquito larvae had started hatching in swampland near the France-Belgium border – less than 100 miles from the south coast of England.
There's a certain "Storms in the Channel: Continent cut off" xenophobia evident there. We will fight them on the beaches ... However, that apart, and having noted the awkward mixed metaphor involved in "swamp", this could be a moment of national crisis. Dammit! The little buggers could even reach Tonbridge Wells! So, cue William Walton's Spitfire Prelude and Fugue:

Stella Nudder Moss-Kito

Ah! Just like old times!

High culture apart (and that's the only bit of Walton that survived into the finished movie), for sheer emotive content, Guy Hamilton wisely turned to Ron Goodwin for the tub-thumper of an intro:

Watch those Moss Kitos fall ... err ... like flies.

Ken Nobuddy do somethin' 'bout these pesky Moss Kitos?

It was a sticky evening in Angoulême. To air the hotel room, Malcolm left the shutters and windows open while his Lady and he went to dine.

Then, replete, they retired for the night.

Within minutes, the real purpose of the shutters and closed windows was revealed. Neeeow! Psssitttt. Weeeee.

A copy of the Daily Telegraph in hand, Malcolm set to work. For Euro-swatting the Telegraph's broadsheet format is the only thing. Across the pond, use the Wall Street Journal.

Next morning, the full horror dawned.

The delicate decor was now disfigured by numerous bloody mosquito splats.

As swiftly as possible, the bill was paid, and the Redfellow entourage left the building. Sphere: Related Content

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